The holidays are especially stressful for many people, excluding ACOA and survivors of torture and neglect.
The atmosphere hangs in the fragrance of the pretense that families must be together, and the enjoyment should be with everyone.
Some of us have family members who want to believe that the holiday is a time to go, as if any atrocities they have committed in the past should be removed. For many of us who are survivors of ACOA abuse – this perfume and sticker that is only for the holiday season – only adds to our many mistakes. We ask ourselves constantly, once again – as we did as children – we think of it as a problem. We hear ourselves asking, “Maybe it’s me. Either I’m hard or I can’t forgive?”
The ACOA or EAS (who will survive the hearing) can tell you that a portion of their charitable work is about establishing personal and professional boundaries.
We are mortally wounded, and many of us suffer cuts, bruises and wounds we need to heal.
Just because ACOA has started a restoration program, doesn’t mean they can endure the holiday season without worry. On the contrary, the holiday is a wonderful experience for us during the holiday season, and it is important to plan in advance what will happen at the dinner table when all those who have a problem in your life gather, because they do all they can to pretend to be like any other family. happy.
1.) Don’t let it slip under the rejected curtain. It is better to admit that you are spending a vacation with electric vampires – and even lions – than to pretend that your loved ones have no power to harm you. They do – and if we let them – they do.
2.) Be clear about your limits. If men like to irritate your wounds, or women prefer to just annoy something they know is going to happen to you – admit it – feel it coming – then say calmly – “I want to talk about it.”
3.) If you feel like being beaten – even a little – and that the rabbit hole is close – declare that you are uncomfortable – I think you better leave. Then get up and leave.
4.) When you leave, get out of your house loudly saying, “Sorry mom, sorry dad – but I feel like I’m almost sick, and I don’t want you to ruin your holiday meal. Have a nice family celebration – I’ll call you tomorrow. “
5.) If you leave, then you leave with a big smile on your face and your heart – because you are only controlling what was in your hands to do this – and no one has ever knocked you down the rabbit hole, or taken away your power. Good! You just learned how to be responsible for your happiness.
6.) Wear jewelry around your head and meditate at the same time – or keep quiet. I include below. Take a deep breath, and focus on what you drove.
7.) If you feel like crying – then cry – let them all come out … but when you’re done – know that they have taken care of you, and that for the first time in your life, you have learned that ‘you are your boss’.
8.) Get to bed early and cook yourself a wonderful breakfast. Light a candle on your table, ‘to yourself’.
9.) Document your thoughts, and your thoughts – and find a connection with the human power that gives you the opportunity to set boundaries with your family.
10.) Call a friend or colleague you know who welcomes you. Just enjoy the simplicity of the conversation – and keep in mind – that if you learn to set boundaries – your life will begin to change for the better – and maybe next year – you’ll be with people who respect your boundaries and your life. And be prepared – you may not have the people you think.
This holiday season, know that you are not alone. This is a very difficult time for all of us.
But let’s not forget – the Hype we see and hear – is made up of economic factors. The holiday season is about to make a profit for consumers – and the more we hear in the air – and all the ideas we can’t help but notice – yep – all of its advertising partners.
Most of the people are seen as less likely to be cow – they have the potential to grow fat.
Don’t be caught off guard by the short messages that advertisers are running our shops.
Don’t be fooled by all the holiday music you hear being thrown at all the shops you walk in this season.
Do not allow invisible or tangible forces to dominate your mood – or how you see yourself – or this world.
Wake up dear. All of this is false.
You’re your employer.
You have the power.