Ah … the magic of the holiday. We have all grown up with the excitement and mystery of our holiday traditions: oranges in our socks, gifts under the tree, lighting of the menorah, and more! Our memories of the Holiday are filled with home baking, mom stories, love and laughter from friends and family. Adults, we also try to rehearse our children in remembering this – teaching them through the wonderful knowledge of our youth. But how can we do this in a multinational country?
Buying for our kids these days can be difficult and expensive. Take every Saturday newsletter in the months of November and December and find it packed with lots of flies promising all the good stuff needed to own an iPod, RoboRaptor, or V-Smile toys. Chances are your child’s wish list includes one or two of the biggest and most playful tools. Given that we have a list of 30 items, it’s no wonder you get stuck – the shopping gap between buying expensive gifts and the thoughts and concerns you have as a result of the messages you can send to your kids when shopping.
You may find yourself thinking about how to resolve this conflict: “I want my son to have what he wants, and at the same time I want my son to be realistic in his expectations.”
Let’s look at this:
Sean is 9 years old and lives with Mom and Dad and 2nd sister for 2 yr. His family went to see Santa last weekend and Sean brought his Santa list. On her list, her parents’ surprise was the iPod, and the laptop computer! All of her parents were stunned and overwhelmed by such high expectations from their son.
On the way to the Village of Santa he started talking about why he thought he wanted these things. Predictably, Sean said “All my friends have them and they look great !!!” His parents looked at each other and it was obvious they couldn’t afford both, nor did they know why a nine-year-old needed such things.
Mom and Dad also knew that several of Sean’s friends had received or received this kind of gift for their vacation.
Later that evening after the children had gone to bed, mom and dad discussed their concerns and how to do it: Did we buy these things for her? Are we saying no, and keep him away from social networking? Do we buy one and not the other?
All good questions but what is the correct answer? There is no right answer. The answer lies within her parents’ beliefs and messages that they want their children to receive at times like this.
Confidential: If you believe these types of gifts offer unrealistic expectations and have little to do with what happens during the Holiday Season or the financial goals your family will not be able to purchase, hold on to your beliefs. Not to mention the beauty of the holiday. For messages, both verbal and non-verbal, they are clear and clear to your children when choosing gifts.
Many parents do not know how to talk to their child about these conditions and why they are not buying them what the child has asked for. Parents need to be fair and open about their motivations and decisions.
This holiday season; remember the following tips:
Self-awareness: Know exactly what you want to buy.
Note: Information that comes from your gift giving.
Speak up: For your child the reasons and messages found above, and let them express their feelings.
Be assured: For children their confusion and frustrations may arise in your decisions.
Also note: Your child will ask about the weather and encourage them to find ways to pay back and change their expectations.